Sorting Through the Clutter
If you somehow were able to unearth my diary amidst the clutter of my room, then you would probably find something like this...
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Sorting Through the Clutter If you somehow were able to unearth my diary amidst the clutter of my room, then you would probably find something like this... |
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Thursday, February 27, 2003 I hate it when friendships end. Or maybe not 'end' per se, but kinda gradually fade away until it no longer even resembles a friendship. It's happened to me twice in my entire life. Fortunately, I have been able to patch things up with one of my good girlfriends. We stopped talking midway through highschool because of unresolved difference. It's silly now, thinking back at it. But then again, we were in highschool. Everything seemed kind of silly back then. But we have somewhat started talking again and I know things can only get better. I haven't seen her in ages though because we are at different universities, but we communicate through the magical world of instant messangers. And even virtual communication is better than no communication. So that leaves me with only one close friend who has kind of disappeared from my life. We met in second year of university. He's actually still sort of around. I see him from time to time. But we don't talk anymore. Things are a little bit awkward between us, I guess. I miss the friendship though. We were pretty close back then, but things happened..which kind of scared me and made me back off a bit. But maybe I took too long in trying to get comfortable with the friendship again..because by then, things were so different and he was so different that I couldn't really talk to him anymore. I miss him. But what do I do? posted by Jenn | 12:49 AM | Monday, February 24, 2003 V, you are very welcome. Actually, there is no need to even say thanks. It was totally my pleasure to come with you to church today. Don`t feel that I would ever judge you. You`re a dear friend. So, whenever you feel like you need someone to talk to, I`m right here. So, keep on searching and asking questions. Hopefully, someday you`ll find answers to those questions and doubts..and if some answers can`t be found, I hope that someday faith is enough. Oh and btw, thanks for the note. Really nice. posted by Jenn | 12:51 PM | Sunday, February 23, 2003 I returned from a wonderful two days at Blue Mountain to Hamilton. It's been a weird reading week. I didn't get a chance to meet up with so many people. I'm sorry :( Mostly catching up on work. Leash pretty much summed it up last night when I was chatting with her: "I was severly behind in school work, now I'm only remotely behind". Hahaha.. Okay, I'm off on a tangent. Woke up this morning and didn't go to church. Well, didn't go to my usual church. My friend convinced to go with him to check out this mandarin church later on this afternoon. I dunno, I don't speak a drop of mandarin but supposedly there's a translator. Soo..we'll see how that goes. Yah, so I returned back to Hamilton last night and opened my Outlook. WHOA! Huge flood of emails poured in...all wishing me well and offering me prayers. Thank you so much for your concern. I really really appreciate all the emails and calls. I thank God for dear friends like you. posted by Jenn | 1:00 PM | Wednesday, February 19, 2003 Yes, I am ok. Thank you to all the sweet people who phoned, ICQed, MSNed me to ask. I appreciate it. On a lighter note, I went to this all-you-can eat sushi place for dinner last night. 'Twas soo good. We ate until we couldn't anymore. So full. And here's the kicker. I decide to go glance at the dessert. Yes, only glance, because I couldn't fit anything else in. And I saw a HUGE tub of green tea ice cream! My favourite ice cream in the world. And I was too full to enjoy it. AHHH! I should've just skipped the buffet and headed straight for the ice cream. Better make that a mental note. posted by Jenn | 4:29 PM | Monday, February 17, 2003 Sometimes things happen for a reason. But most of the time, you never actually get to find out what that reason is. I got into a big car accident today. The roads were terrible as I neared Hamilton. I was planning on going back to school for a day or two to get some work done during reading week. But as I neared the curve on highway 403 and the main street exit, I felt the rear wheels of my car slightly slip, I tried to correct the car, but I was going too fast for the weather conditions. The more I tried to correct the car, the more it fish-tailed, and the more I panicked. The last time I corrected the wheel, I jerked it too hard and the car spun across 3 lanes of traffic and slammed into the guardrails. The airbag exploded and all I remember is thinking how disappointed my dad is going to be. He's always warning me about driving in terrible weather. But I'm okay. My car is a write-off though. But I'm okay, just a bruised wrist and a bruised knee. Thank you God. I know He sent an angel to hold back the cars when I spun across the lanes of traffic. I'm still amazed that I walked away from the accident without anything more serious than bruises. posted by Jenn | 6:26 PM | Friday, February 14, 2003 Had a super good time at Quarters last night. The crew came up from back home to party it up, McMaster-style! :) Good music, good friends...what a great end to a tough week. After Quarters, we all went to grab a bite to eat. One of my friends that I've known since first year, struck up a conversation with another one of my good friends from back home about Christianity. I'm so glad that he is opening up to the concept of Christianity. He's been exposed to the faith many times...he's even gone on a missionary trip with his sister. So don't get my wrong, I'm glad that he's talking to all these people about the Christian faith. What kinda makes me feel sad, is that he's never really approached me to talk about his spiritual dilemma. He's able to open up and talk to someone he's recently met, and he's able to talk about it my friend. Yet, he hesitates to talk about to me. It makes me wonder why. He says it's because I'm such a good friend, like a sister, so it's difficult to open up to me about spirituality. But yeah, I don't really get that explanation. He knows that I'm a Christian, he knows that I go to fellowship, and he knows that God is really important to me. I've invited him to countless fellowship events and to church with me. So it just makes me wonder. posted by Jenn | 5:35 PM | Wednesday, February 12, 2003 Been going through midterm hell. Thermodynamics: Wednesday, February 12 Feeling burnt out. I need reading week to begin NOW posted by Jenn | 1:58 PM | Sunday, February 09, 2003 Fireball yesterday. That's the "engineering formal" for the rest of you non-engineers :P haha.. It's the one night where we get to put away out calculators and protractors, dust the metal shavings off our clothes, and go out for a classy night out of dinner and dancing. Delicious food, good friends, fun music, and my baby...there's no way I could ask for more. We went out to F@ Lounge afterwards, but the line was soooo long and $10 cover. WHAT?!? Hamilton clubs are not allowed to charge that much for cover and make us wait in the cold like that. What do they think they are? A Toronto club? So we left and went to Quarters :) There's nothing like good ol' Quarters. So much more fun..where you get to party amidst familiar faces. Bumped into so many people there. It's hilarious...I bump into them on Thursday and somehow they're back there on Saturday. But then again, so am I :) posted by Jenn | 3:13 PM | Saturday, February 08, 2003 Had a great time at CCF yesterday. Haven't been for awhile just because this term, so far, has been madness. Last friday: Mac formal and Montreal. Last last friday: Accounting midterm. Jon told me yesterday that I haven't been to CCF all year! SO not true..but this term I've been missing out on hanging with the CCF folks. So yesterday was a great time of catch up and whatnot. And also, got to meet some new people too (which kinda shows how long I haven't been to CCF). The theme yesterday was "Acts of Kindness"...we made gifts for the children at the hospital. Trying to reach out beyond our CCF community and not be so self-focused. Which was really enlightening. I wish I was a bit more empathetic to the needs of those of the community. Instead, I'm all about focusing on my immediate needs...like focusing on my schoolwork, on achieving high marks, on my own happiness.....I must admit, very self-focused. Once in a while, I get this consuming desire to make a difference...but then my apathetic self kicks in. It really doesn't take that much effort to reach out to the community...yesterday's CCF program proved that. So here's a challange for you: Step outside of your comfort zone and make an effort to do an act of kindness for a complete stranger this week. posted by Jenn | 2:43 PM | Thursday, February 06, 2003 So here is my first post. Ironically, I am at a loss for words. posted by Jenn | 4:41 PM | |
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